Wednesday, 11 December 2019

Looking back on 2019 and ahead to 2020

Well, it’s that time again for my annual looking back on 2019, not been too good a year, only managed one festival this year, my health has really taken its toll on things, how I function and also on my mental state.

I won high rate PIP on care and mobility, with huge thanks to Amii, she is a wonderful woman, one of the best friends in life. She has her own issues, but seems to be able to help others than sort her own out… I wish my mind was able to help her in the same way she has helped me I really do.

Neil has been a star, cheering me up, making dullest of days seem brighter, looking after my flat when I went on a little holiday, and also looking after my plants.

I want to say a massive thank you to Helen as well. She recently started a group on Facebook that I managed to join up to for a trial, only managed 2 days though I seem to recall. I did however manage to get something out of it. Also some of her posts, huge thanks to her, she is wonderful.  If you feel you need a bit of light and guidance in your life, search Helen Enser Morgan on Facebook.

I went to Gran Canaria in September of this year, saw a friend of mine who has moved out there, Simon. He and I seem to have fallen in with some wrong people in our pasts, who shall remain nameless, but one good thing, out of the problems we still are friends with each other, which I think shows how strong we are as people, we won’t let the little s**** of this world get to us, we will rise above them and survive. The heat out there worked wonders for my aches and pains, and the staff at the various airports en-route were just amazing with helping get me about.  The assistance team at Heathrow, Zurich, Gran Canaria Las Palmas and London City, also the staff on DLR and London Underground.

All my friends at Cuppa & Chat I have met, not been getting along as much as I would have liked to have done, but will try to get there more next year, body and mind willing. It’s a break from the flat.

Been trying to get a few things sorted that I won’t go in to in this, but let’s just say, being open about my problems seems to have helped a lot with them.

One thing I am still trying to get my head around is using a walking aid, it is a difficult thing to have to adapt to, its making a list of things a mammoth task to work out. Figuring out how to do things with just one hand free, it’s not easy and gets very frustrating.

Finally sorted my car out, had bits going wrong on it, but at this exact moment in time seems to be fine, which would not have been possible without Cooze Motors in Llansamlet… thanks guys!, you rock.

 I re-sat my driving test and passed. This has given me piece of mind, and reassured me that I can be independent; I did have doubts that were growing as my condition got worse. I can't let Ankylosing Spondylitis and everything that comes with it drags me downwards, yes I have physical issues and limits, but I can and will live a life. There is help out there, and I have all you out there as well.

Getting my mind in the right place for one part of my life is just the start.
I really want to get back in to doing radio, so if anyone is reading this - drop me a message. I need some doors to open... help me get out of my Ankylosing Spondylitis rut. It may take a bit of time I know, but with help and support I can and will, because I want to, do it.

You know, when I woke up on the morning I re-sat my test, saw the sun was out, ventured out in to the outside world to post a letter, taking in fresh air, little did I know the sunshine would help light my way for today, even after it went cloudy and started raining and got dark.

Looking ahead, I need to really get out there and make the most of the days I am able to do things, being stuck in isn’t doing me any good. I have great friends out there in Swansea (… and beyond!), its one reason why 3 years ago I moved here, to be close to those I love and care about; I really must see them more. When my body allows I must get out seeing them.
Also in 2020, I need to think about a Motorbility car, my current car is getting on a bit, isn’t very economical and is starting to sound like me, with all its creeks and noises.
I also want to get back in to radio, be it community or online or dab… I love my music and enjoyed doing radio.  If anyone is reading this who runs or is in charge of programming on a station, here is a quote from one reply I had…

All that is left for me to say now is have a Merry and safe Christmas and a safe start to 2020.